"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart--- These, O God, You will not despise" Psalm 51:17
I was going through my blogroll today and came across a blog that has gone dormant for over a year now. I went through his now ancient postings and happened on his confession of a secret sin. It was pornography. I too am well aquainted with that sin.
He writes, "Pornography is a sin against my wife and family as well. Eph 5 calls for a man to love His wife as Christ loves the church. We are told in Prov 5 to be wholly devoted to and satisfied with our wives. I betrayed the promises I made to her before God. I have sought her forgiveness and my loving gracious wife has extended that forgiveness to me once again. She is a model of the mercy of God. I explained to my children that I had made sinful choices that led to me no longer being a pastor. My family is understanding the corporate consequences of personal sin, like Nehemiah talks about in chapter 1."
Pornography is a scourge. It is addicting. It is deadly; It cost this man the pastorate. I have known it to cost Christian men their earthly lives as God moves in with the "ultimate" chastening. I, myself, spent six weeks in the hospital, five of those in traction, because of that sin. That was in 1978.
Imagine what it would be like to go to an X- rated theater, only to see that the one taking your ticket is someone you had witnessed to about Christ only two years earlier! "Mark, You?!" Was the astonished question from him. "Yes, Tom, me". Twenty-nine years later I am still haunted by that scene. I had sinned! I had misrepresented Christ in front of someone I had once tried to win to Christ.
But, note our verse - "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart--- These, O God, You will not despise" Psalm 51:17. Back to that man's post, "Repentance involves the intellect, emotion and will. In the past my half attempts at repentance have included the intellectual owning of guilt and the emotional sorrow, but rarely an intentional change of the will. I am working, by the grace of God to radically amputate this sin and fully repent. Again, I am here to seek your forgiveness as a church family. Please continue to pray for me and for my family. We love you and thank you for the love and grace you have demonstrated to us!"
I believe this man, in the above paragraph, showed the outworkings of "a broken and contrite heart".
Dear Christian brother, are you sinning against God, your wife and your children with this wicked sin? Wicked sin? Yep. Why I say wicked is because we men try to treat this sin so lightly, because, after all, all men struggle with it; it's so natural. Well, no, it is actually grievous to the INDWELLING HOLY SPIRIT!
Do you wish to go on grieving Him? Do you wish to go on being unfaithful to your wife? Do you wish to face severe chastening?
Labels: conviction, sin
