Taking My Eye Off Christ - By Mark Pierson

The following is a quote from an older and wisened Spurgeon after he had begun to reflect on how things CAN go if we get too much into self examination...

" Self examination is a very great blessing, but I have known self examination carried on in a most unbelieving, legal, and self-righteous manner; in fact, I have carried it on myself. Time was when I used to think a vast deal more of marks, and signs, and evidences, for my own comfort, than I do now, for I find that I cannot be a match for the devil when I begin dealing in these things. I am obliged to go day by day with this cry-- "I, the chief of sinners am, But Jesus died for me."

While I can believe the promise of God,because it is His promise, and because He is my God, and while I can trust my Saviour because He is God, and therefore mighty to save, all goes well with me,but I do find,when I begin questioning myself about this and that perplexity,thus taking my eye off Christ,that all the virtue of my life seems oozing out at every pore. Any practice that detracts from faith is an evil practice,but especially that kind of self-examination which would take us away from the cross-foot, proceeds in a wrong direction."

In my early days of Christianity, I would constantly be comparing myself with other, more earnest christians than myself. They could go for longer periods of fasting and prayer; they could preach better; were bolder in their witness for Christ when we would go street preaching; were better able to hold the attention of the crowds when teaching Bible study and so on. They were fun to be around, while I,on the other hand, was and am very uncomfortable around people.

I would often dread the book of James and the last three chapters of 1 John. I used to take note of how short I came to measuring up. I would fall into very deep depressions when considering these things. I would be so morbid, so sad, I would feel so ugly spiritually. These periods would last for months.

Often, I would enter into a period of fasting and prayer, only to break the fast off before the planned time. Oh,the self-condemnation that followed, especially when the other brethren seemed to cruise along for that same period of fasting. I felt myself to be the biggest failure. Oh, the hunger for souls they had,and I didn't.

I would be so morbid and sad that unsaved people would come to me and tell me that they did not want to be like me if they were to become a christian. I could see their point.

Over time I began to realize that, although I still did not measure up to the book of James or 1John, it would drive me to the foot of the cross, where I could behold Him. Now those two books invite me, yea, they urge me, to behold Him. Now there is no more sadness or self-condemnation;no more comparing myself with other more successful christians. Now my delight is in beholding Him, knowing Him, being found in Him, not having my own righteousness for He is my righteousness!

I have this promise from His word: "But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord" 2 Cor.3:18.

Let us take up our time beholding Him!

-Mark