LOOKING TO PRAISE AND WORSHIP JESUS THE CHRIST, THE SON OF THE LIVING GOD. 18 No man has ever seen God at any time; the only unique Son, or the only begotten God, Who is in the bosom [in the intimate presence] of the Father, He has declared Him [He has revealed Him and brought Him out where He can be seen; He has interpreted Him and He has made Him known].

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Love And Respect

Continuing on with Mark's theme, let's look at Eph. 5:22-33

22. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
24. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
25. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
26. so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27. that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
28. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29. for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
30. because we are members of His body.
31. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.
32. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
33. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.


First let's note the command to husbands. We are to love our wives by imitating Christ's love for the Church.

So here is exercise 1

Name how Christ has loved the Church.

For example, we could say that Christ loved the Church sacrifically. That is, He died for the church. For the husband to love his wife in like manner would be to show her a sacrificial love. A number one threat to that, I would think, would be something as gross as the viewing of internet porn. The vow of marriage is that you are to forsake all others, thus giving your wife the affections of your heart. The lust born from porn robs that and the heart becomes devided by the reality of a wife and the fantasies made by internet viewing. Another threat to loving your wife sacrificially would be demanding to have your way all the time.

Another example would be showing tenderness.

But that is the first exercise: Name has Christ has loved the Church and correlate that with how the husband is to love the wife.

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Alright. For the wives. How is a wife to love, or show love, to her husband? The text says two things, but I would think that the fist is really the fruit of the second. The first is submissivily. Now as I stated, I would say that is the fruit of the second thing stated. Why? Because one can be submissive to another and not love them. So what is the second thing that is stated? Vs. 33 commands "...the wife must see to it that she respects her husband."

2dn. Exercise:

Name how the wife should show respect for her husband.

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Hopefully there will be some fruitful discussion, as I think men and women differ to a degree in how each as a group experiences love, or how they would like to be loved. That is not to say that wives are to be untender to husbands or that husbands should disrespect their wife. What I am saying is that it seems that because there are differences between the sexes, the way love is experienced is different. Example: the husband will not sense a true love relationship if he is primarily disrespected by the wife. And it goes the other way: the wife will not sense a true love relationship without the tenderness and sacrificial giving of the husband. Both are needed.

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12 Comments:

Blogger Gojira said...

For men: Hearing and listening to your wife. In prayer, Christ listens to us. He doesn't say, "Wait a minute, I got something else to do real quick," and then forget all about it. Christ, as Head of the Church, listens to her concerns, as the Church is His loving focus. Husbands, how well do we imitate that in our relationships with our wife?

April 18, 2007 12:18 AM

 
Blogger Bluecollar said...

Wow! That was very to the point! Thanks for this post, Doug!

You provided us with a challenge, and not just information. Very, very good.

April 18, 2007 6:12 AM

 
Blogger jazzycat said...

I heard a pastor make the point that wives desire love from their husbands more than anything, and that husbands desire respect more than anything from their wives.

The point is that men and women are different in their needs and you have pointed this out very well.

Wayne

April 18, 2007 9:56 AM

 
Blogger Gayla said...

As I mentioned in the last post (or somewhere), my husband and I are involved in the pre-marital mentoring ministry. We are now mentoring our first engaged couple, and we're going thru a teaching series called Maximum Marriage. And I must say, after nearly 21 yrs of marriage, I have a lot to learn!

Yesterday and this morning I've been listening to the CD regarding the wife's role. Funny how God pierces our hearts with the truth of His word. I KNOW I have some things of which I need to repent.

One of the things that has really struck me - before going to Eph 5, we must go back to Genesis. Before we (wives) can "do" we need to look at "why" we're to do the submitting (which involves respecting and obeying).

The respect we're to give our husbands, comes not from anything they do to 'earn' it, but rather it comes from their God-ordained position. Positionally, husbands are the head of their wives, their homes. There just isn't any other alternative; this is the way God set it up in the beginning.

OK, I could go on, but this is already long...

April 18, 2007 10:02 AM

 
Blogger Craver Vii said...

I think of how he gave up his rights for her need. That was probably already covered under "sacrificially," but ah, why not add an extra layer there.

I may want to spend my Saturday or Sunday afternoon a certain way, but she has been cooped-up in the house and her emotional needs are more pressing than my own. Saturday, I would rather groom the front lawn, and she would rather have a garden out back. Sunday, I would love an afternoon nap. She might like to visit friends instead.

April 18, 2007 1:40 PM

 
Blogger Gojira said...

Hi Gayla,

"One of the things that has really struck me - before going to Eph 5, we must go back to Genesis. Before we (wives) can "do" we need to look at "why" we're to do the submitting (which involves respecting and obeying)."

I fully agree. I want to post on it next, unless you would like to do that one. But yes. I fully agree.

April 18, 2007 6:35 PM

 
Blogger Gojira said...

Hi Craver,

" but ah, why not add an extra layer there."

I'd say that was an excellent layer to add.

April 18, 2007 6:36 PM

 
Blogger Gayla said...

Oh no Doug, go ahead and post on that. I was just relaying what I'd recently learned on the subject. :) I hadn't really thought of it that way before - what with all the incomplete and/or bad teaching I'd received for so long. :) And God truly convicted me of some things I need to repent of.

Seems in teaching the role of wives (with 'submitting' getting so much bad press, if you will), we tend to leave out the importance of Genesis, and how God ordained marriage in the first place.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on all of that, so post away!

April 18, 2007 7:00 PM

 
Blogger Baptist Girl said...

Doug,
That was very good. We are to be one.

Cristina

April 18, 2007 10:47 PM

 
Blogger Dawn said...

Great post, Doug!

I would say that the husband is to love the wife by being the spiritual head and that requires constant study of the word (the wife should equally be in constant study, but you know what I mean). He should also be a good provider and leader. The Lord should come first in his life, then the wife, then the children, then the church and so on.

The wife should submit to her husband by allowing him to be the head. She should also be an encouragement to him by not nagging and always tearing him down, especially if she is the dominant personality. The wife should keep the house running smoothly (e.g., cleaning, groceries, bill paying, not overspending, etc.) and be a good mother to the children raising them up in the Lord (of course the husband helps in raising the children, too).

April 25, 2007 4:03 AM

 
Blogger Bluecollar said...

Dawn, you summed it up perfectly. Thank you.

April 25, 2007 7:22 AM

 
Blogger Sista Cala said...

This is some take home study for me. I just do a bit of reading on my supper break at work. Will have to print these posts. Thanks.

April 25, 2007 10:22 PM

 

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