LOOKING TO PRAISE AND WORSHIP JESUS THE CHRIST, THE SON OF THE LIVING GOD. 18 No man has ever seen God at any time; the only unique Son, or the only begotten God, Who is in the bosom [in the intimate presence] of the Father, He has declared Him [He has revealed Him and brought Him out where He can be seen; He has interpreted Him and He has made Him known].

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Days After The Layoff

Where to begin...

Following that dark day were some mental and emotional experiences that only those who have experienced a layoff can relate to.

There were trips to the post office to mail resume's, trips to all the factories in the area - even to those in other counties - to fill out job applications, and trips to the labor board.

It was while out and about that I had to deal with some thoughts and feelings like I've never had before.

I remember at one point watching a delivery man making a delivery to one of those mini-marts. I was at a red light watching him go up and down a ramp, in and out of the back of his truck, with one of those two wheel dollies. I forget what he was unloading, but I remember the thoughts that took over my mind; thoughts that I was no longer a contributor to society - I was no longer a supporter of my family. It seemed like I would never have a job again. Yes, there was a sinful foreboding. I'd never had to deal with such an dark situation before. Now was time for my profession of faith to become more than just a theory. As I said these were feelings that I had never dealt with before. A profound sense of grief was only part of the equation. I can't, even to this day, put my finger on the other feelings involved. I can only describe it as darkness.

Then there was that first trip to the Labor Board to file for unemployment. It was a very cloudy day which kinda matched what I felt inside. The line in front of me was long. It would be a two hour waite. To be sure there was plenty of time to sin against God by looking at the situation rather than being thankful that He was in control. Did I go the sinful route? Honestly, yes. At one point I just stared out the plate-glass doors at the sidewalk just outside. I could not believe the darkness inside. I had never felt anything like it before. To lose a loved one is one thing. This was a combination of such feelings as that plus the sense of failure and hopelessness. I wondered what it was that I had done wrong to get to this point in the first place. I knew of no unconfessed sin. I thought my "confession life" was current. I was giving to God's work. Why was this happening?

Well, the two hour waite was over. I was finally at the counter. And what happens? I found out that I was standing in the wrong line all along. To top it off, the woman spared no disdain for me, treating me like I was some sort of dummy for having made such a mistake. She also seemed to be of the impression that I was one of those chronically umemployed types who likes to mooch off of society. She did not know that I was a many times awarded, long time employee of one company. My awards? Suggestion awards that saved my company thousands of dollars, attendance awards, and recognition for being a model employee. Yep, that's who she was treating like garbage. If she only knew.

Well, I'll spare you the accounts of sleep-less nights and the like.

The amount of time before a job surfaced: about two months.

He was Lord over this too.

More later.

6 Comments:

Blogger jazzycat said...

Very good description of your feelings! Let us pray for our current economic situation.....

November 24, 2008 2:10 PM

 
Blogger Gayla said...

Mark, your story has been a compelling one. I understand that so much of a man's identity is wrapped up in his job. I know it must be difficult to separate it out at times.

I know it was that way last year when Roger was laid off from not one, but two jobs. It was such an unsettling time for us. We all tend to depend on our incomes from our employment, rather than knowing it comes from God, and depending on Him for it.

Difficult lessons, but necessary ones.

November 25, 2008 11:12 AM

 
Blogger mark pierson said...

Gayla, I do not believe that the Lord was trying to strip me of my identity as a man in the way that you described it. For a man to lose that aspect of his identity (i.e. e.g. that found in his job is to strip him of his manhood.) It would be like stripping a mother of her identity as a nurse and nurturer to her children.

November 25, 2008 1:13 PM

 
Blogger mark pierson said...

I do not see that what I was going thru here as some sort of emasculation. In my book any man who is stripped of his job and DOESN'T feel that his identity was taken away is NO man. Something like this for a man is SUPPOSED TO HURT, ANY time and EVERY TIME. If it doesn't hurt then something is wrong.

November 25, 2008 2:07 PM

 
Blogger Gayla said...

Mark, I didn't say anything about any of this that stripping you of your manhood. Good grief.

Sure have been critical of everything I've written lately...

November 25, 2008 3:28 PM

 
Blogger mark pierson said...

Critical? Not for critical sake. Just that I have a different way of looking at things, friend.

November 26, 2008 7:00 AM

 

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