COMMANDED TO LOVE!
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
A second thing to notice is that when Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives,” he puts it in the imperative. It is a command! It may be important to notice that he does not speak to the wife in any imperatives in verses 22-24. He does not use a command when he tells Christian wives to offer their submission to their husbands. It is completely voluntary! But Christian husbands are commanded to love their wives! How in the world did we ever get to the point in our view of marriage where we thought we could demand submission from our wives? If anything, our wives would be on firmer ground if they reminded us that Paul commanded us to love them! Men, how serious is this? We cannot afford to take this command lightly!
We are fallen, sinful men. How are we supposed to love our wives this way? Most of us weren’t raised this way. Our culture doesn’t promote this kind of loving relationship. How can we swim against the current and be so different from the world? Paul has already told us how we can do it. He told us to be filled with the Holy Spirit. The only hope we have is to be filled with the Holy Spirit and let him guide us in our marriages. Let him show us how we are supposed to love our wives and treat them gently. Do you want to know if the Holy Spirit is working in your life? One way you can tell is by looking at the way you love your wife! If you are loving her like Christ loved the church then you can be assured that the Holy Spirit is doing his good work in you!
posted by Shiloh Guy at 10:39 PM
7 Comments:
This challenge is most excellent and sooooo important. If we think ourselves to be pious theologians, but do not love our wives, that should send a warning signal that we might be deceiving ourselves.
May 11, 2007 10:52 PM
Dave,
I believe you are right in that it cannot be done all day every day without the Holy Spirit.
May 11, 2007 11:45 PM
Scribe made an astute observation in a comment at Shiloh Guy. It is something I have been thinking about for a number of years. Christian people need to very carefully examine the foundation upon which they build their marriages. In a culture that steamrolls us with romantic and sexual love in every form of media, we seem to lack a biblical foundation for marriage. We still talk about "falling in love" rather than deciding to love and commit. Christian counselors talk about "reigniting the spark of romance" rather than quitting sin and deciding to love. Christians are as guilty as anyone when it comes to "getting something out of" their marriage rather than living to serve one's spouse.
As long as the idea of male dominance and female submission is taught apart from the biblical perspective of mutual love and mutual submission we will continue to struggle.
The thing I didn't say in the post is this: If God COMMANDS us to love our wives as Christ loved the church and we don't, then it is sin! It's not just "a hard time we're going through," but sin!
One thing I've learned for sure, Jazzy, I can't love my wife properly apart from the work of the Holy Spirit any more than I can love God properly without the Holy Spirit's ministry!
Thanks for your comments!
May 12, 2007 8:35 AM
"He told us to be filled with the Holy Spirit. The only hope we have is to be filled with the Holy Spirit and let him guide us in our marriages. Let him show us how we are supposed to love our wives and treat them gently. Do you want to know if the Holy Spirit is working in your life? One way you can tell is by looking at the way you love your wife! If you are loving her like Christ loved the church then you can be assured that the Holy Spirit is doing his good work in you!"
Being filled by the Spirit... His work in us. Let Him lead, guide and show us how to love our wives.
Marriage, then, is entirely dependent on being filled by the Spirit, His work in us. Self denial and sacrifice are the rule. Eros love isn't even in the picture, that is, depending on how you view The Song of Solomon.
For so long I have lived in my marriage having romantic love be my guiding force. How selfish! As soon as I don't feel those romantic feelings I begin to be harsh with her, even disrespectful; I get short with her, resentful that she is not helping me reach the goals that I have set for myself. I've also noticed that when the romance is cooled, which is the normal ebb and flow that comes with eros love, that it is easy to start looking at other women. In those "cool" times I no longer dwell with her according to knowledge.
So much to learn, and I've been married almost 21 years!
May 12, 2007 9:42 AM
Great postDave.
I read this once about how a husband is to love his wife...
Such love never demands obedience.
It never demands anything; it seeks not to be served, but to serve.
Cristina
May 12, 2007 1:39 PM
If any one owuld like to hear a real good sermon on marriage go here and click on christians view on marrital bliss. ..there is two parts. Paul Washer is a very powerful speaker.
http://www.sermonaudio.com/search.asp?SpeakerOnly=true&currSection=sermonsspeaker&Keyword=Paul^Washer
Cristina
May 12, 2007 10:55 PM
Thanks again, y'all, for your kind comments and sharing your personal experiences. I do appreciate you!
We at Shiloh have moved on in our study of Ephesians and are well into the passage on the armor of God. It seems like a long time ago that we went through this passage on husbands and wives. However, our Shilohfolks are still talking A LOT about their marriages and for that I am grateful to the Lord!
Dave
May 13, 2007 9:56 PM
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